Watchmen- Please, go home.

Spoiler warning for the Watchmen movie. I wont be giving a recap of the movie since if I did, this would be even longer than it already is and I doubt people would read it.

Not until I watched Watchmen was I aware that I could hate a movie with such burning passion. Such a poorly executed concept with boring characters and a hurtful attitude towards women as well as a serious lack of non-white characters. And I'm sorry, but the fact that it's an alternate timeline does not excuse it since it is watched and taken in by people in our world. And since there was no actual criticism towards these things as much as an attempt to ask "is it really so wrong?" I consider myself having the right to be seriously offended.

Never have I watched a movie where women have been referred to as "whores" so frequently before.
I started feeling slightly sick in the beginning where a lesbian hero and her girlfriend (?) is murdered and has "LESBIAN WHORES" written across their wall with blood. We have only seen this hero previously in a scene where she walks up to a woman she doesn't seem to know and kisses her. Please don't kiss people you don't know unless they give you consent. Protip: not struggling is not the same as consent. This isn't followed up but simply seen as a good way to show how superheroes were murdered. This "character" is not only defined through her sexuality but also showed right into the refridgerator, setting the tone of the treatment of women in the movie. It also seems as if the men of this movie can be corrupted and evil while the women are stuck just being "whores". Assuming they are referring to prostitution I feel the need to point out that there is nothing wrong with being a sex worker. It is a demand being supplied and I don't see why, in this alternate world, it is one of the signs of how everything that has gone wrong.

And never have I watched a movie which starts with a rape but ends with the rapist being seen by the other characters as a pretty nice guy.
Rape is never alright. You can not justify it. It doesn't matter if she was in love with him or discovered her emotions for him later. Neither does it matter that he gave her a daughter. Rape happens in established relationships between lovers, it does not make it less terrible. If anything it can be even more hurtful to the victim as the trust for another person, whom they are close to, can be completely destroyed.
And that whole thing about how the Comedian saw the worlds true face. Was that supposed to make him worth my sympathies? So besides raping, using and killing women (and men) he also accepted how the world was supposedly beyond rescue and used this in order to hurt others for his own enjoyment. That is bullshit. Even Rorschach seemed as if he was trying to save the world, and he was supposed to be the most questionable one of them all. 

Never have I seen such inconsequent characters, changing the basics of their personality through half of the movie. Okay, to be honest that isn't completely true because I watched The House That Drips Blood On Alex once. But my point still stands since both Nite Owl and Silk Spectre II turn into completely different characters when interacting. Their romance felt really forced which was a shame because in the beginning I was happy that this movie had bothered to create a female character who had, not only a romantic interest, but also a friend. A friend who she could talk to when she was having troubles and it was even better that this friend was a guy as it encourages men and women to be friends. That attempted rape in the beginning has already contributed to the feeling of no one being trustabled, so seeing this gave me back some of my hope. Of course this turned out to be all wrong and after a scene of her in bed with one of Dr Manhattan's clones, she leaves him and ends up making out with Nite Owl instead. Because that's just what girls do when they have just had their heart broken! Watch and learn, guys. If you're nice to the girl, she will reward you with sex. I just wish a girl and boy could have a close relationship where they share their troubles without falling in love.

 Please stop putting wanking fantasies in superhero movies. Thank you. 

And since it unavoidable, let's talk about Laurie Jupiter aka. Silk Spectre II. I'm sure I mentioned before how much I hate action heroes wearing heels and I swear that the day they stop existing I will stop whining. Today is not that day. Laurie wears insane heels while running through a burning building, she also wears some sort of latex swinsuit. I don't understand, wasn't this supposed to be a realistic movie? No woman would dress up like that to fight crime in a world where they are so victimized. Especially not if the court system is so corrupted and the view on women, even among heroes, is terrible. If she had been wearing a bra beneath it and the suit had been attatched to the boots with actual fabric instead of just straps, it could have been considerable; but barely even then. The actress, Malin Akerman is really pretty and don't get me wrong when I say that the makeup and perfect hair bothers me. I'm all for heroes who care about their appearance, but having your hair like that when you're fighting instead of atleast wearing it in a pony tail which would make it a hundred times more manageable is just stupid. It bothered me especially during the scene where she runs out of the burning building and the fire is just centimeters away, yet she comes out without any scratches or stains. Just comparing the poster featuring her with the ones featuring the other heroes makes it seem even more as if she's just in this movie to look good and make out with people. Also, please note how the quotes on Nite Owl's and Comedian's posters are focused on how they are heroes, while her's is about how she is a "bad girl".

And that twist might have been a good idea if the characters had managed to raise some sort of emotions among the viewers during their two hour long performance. Instead I just found myself with millions of questions that could have been easily answered with a little effort from the creators, such as: Why was Ozymandias' and Nite Owl's costume so stupid looking? I thought this was supposed to be a realistic story. If a story about superheroes is going to be realistic, you have to explain basic things! Just look at Batman Begins where we are told how Bruce Wayne learned to fight as well as got all his gadgets. With these bisarre looking outfits it's a wonder they have been able to keep their identities a secret and not raised suspision when buying them.

Dr Manhattan was the only character who could actually be considered interesting. He started out as a human but when we see him in the movie he seems to lack the most humanly valued characteristics such as empathy. This gives him potential to emotionally evolve and become a more lovable character through the process of the movie. But as the movie decides to focus more on the Comedian and the other, less interesting, characters this potential feels pretty wasted. I think it would have benefitted from not trying to tell the story of all characters. Perhaps if it had been divided into two movies, with one focusing on the first generation of heroes and the other focusing on the next, some of the issues could have been avoided.


So, in conclusion I completely loathe this movie and I regret spending 2,5 hours of my life watching it.


All images from http://www.watchmencomicmovie.com/watchmen-movie-posters.php